We were recently surprised by the report that suggested youth were more likely to suffer from loneliness than the elderly.
Something that we couldn’t have thought of – the young with age by their side, sweet ambitions, nursing passion and their zest to learn.
But the truth is something else. Now if we think about genders, we already know women tend to shoulder more responsibilities than their male counterparts.
This multitasking takes a toll and now a study has confirmed that women are suffering far greater at the hands of lockdown loneliness than men.
The study was conducted by the economists working at the University of Essex, which highlighted that women could be facing more mental health issues than men, during the Covid crisis.
With Sushant Singh Rajput’s suicide not even a day, we all know how mental health is taking a toll during lockdown.
The study also focused on how more people are reporting mental health issues than before – as per official data, issues have gone up from 7% to 18% during the coronavirus pandemic.
This holds specifically true for women, where the figures have gone up from 11 to 27 per cent during lockdown.
The pressure is high clearly as they are taking care of domestic chores, children as well as their jobs.
The researchers did online interviews to assess behavioural patterns. Out of all women, 34 per cent said they felt lonely sometimes, 11 per cent said they felt lonely quite a lot in comparison to men, where 23 per cent said they felt lonely sometimes and 6 per cent said they felt lonely quite often.
This isn’t the first research that has highlighted the surmounting pressure on women. That is why experts all around the world are requesting men to equally contribute to household chores.
Rearing a child, house chores are all considered a woman’s task, and men ‘help’ when they want to.
This approach needs to change and we need more men who are willing to shoulder responsibilities, not as they please, but as an equal partner.
Why do men feel the need to lie, when the truth is much less harmful in the end?
I can say with confidence, that I believe most women will ask themselves this question within their lifetime. Why do men lie? And while ALL of us lie, for some reason, men struggle with it the most within relationships. Why?
Why is it men feel the need to lie, when the outcome of the truth would be more beneficial to a relationship, than the damage that comes from lying?
I know I’m not alone when I say that we as women desire to have our husbands tell the truth above anything. Trust and transparency is one of the most essential needs of a woman.
And even though men know this about us, they still struggle with lying.
As I am always confronting marital issues from my faith-based perspective, it’s important to note that this information applies to everyone, religious or not. close
Before we delve in here, I want to note that this article is not some trash gossip about men. It’s an informative message to women who are in relationships that are continuously being affected by the man lying.
Women who are in these relationships need to understand that if the lying is habitual and destructive to you or your relationship, and the man is not actively seeking help to change, then counsel is absolutely needed from a therapist or mentor.
It’s very easy to blur the lines of when men are just human, and when men are taking advantage of you and your trust.
WHY DO MEN LIE?
When the man you love lies to you, it’s one of the most hurtful experiences. Since women need and desire safety within a relationship, it only makes sense that a lie can totally dismantle her and her view of her spouse. In essence, a simple lie can bring a good relationship to ruin and open the door to mistrust in a marriage.
But what if I were to tell you that when most good men lie, it’s not because they want to, but it’s because of their deep-seated need to please you.
When a man lies, it’s his choice to lie. And as there are certain things women can do to nurture trust within a relationship, it’s still on the man to take responsibility in his lying.
I recently had a conversation with a woman who’s husband had been lying to her about an issue he promised to seek help with years prior.
Claiming he had overcome this issue, she continuously believed him until seven years later, it all came out.
I looked at my husband after hearing the news, and angrily said, “Why do men lie? Why can’t they just tell the truth? Is it worth it for men to risk their entire relationship on a lie?”
Experiencing the pain of lying and what it did in my own relationship, I could identify with her on a much smaller level. So I asked my husband the hard question. Here’s what he said.
Heavy-hearted, he replied,
“I think men lie for three reasons: They feel ashamed, they don’t want to hurt or let down their significant other, and they have a general desire to please everyone — the wife being the most significant one to please. They also don’t want everyone to know what they believe to be true about themselves — that they are failures.”
Wow. That simple answer explained SO much to me about my husband. As there are exceptions, I knew at that moment that when my husband had lied to me in the past, it wasn’t some evil vendetta against me. It wasn’t because he wanted to hurt me. It was because he wanted to protect our relationship and protect his reputation.
And even though those reason don’t merit lying, it helps us women to better understand why they do what they do.
So let’s dive a little deeper into what my husband said.
1. Men lie because they feel ashamed.
After my son lies, I try not to make him feel like he’s unlovable or the worst person in the world. I address his lying and give appropriate consequences, but I assure him that he is wholly forgiven by us as his parents AND God.
This type of direction is helping your child understand Godly sorrow vs. shame and guilt.
Godly sorrow leads to change. Shame leads to hiding the lie better next time.
The same goes for adults. And if we have appropriately learned Godly sorry as children, this will come easier.
When we make a mistake, we will arrive at confession, repentance, and freedom from guilt. But when we haven’t properly understood this, we will feel ashamed, and perhaps with good intentions of changing and not furthering our dishonesty, we will most likely not succeed.
Good men desire to protect their wives, emotionally and physically. So when they have broken that because of something they did, men feel ashamed and don’t want you to know what they have done.
So they lie.
They lie because they believe a lie in their own minds that it’s better not to hurt you than to be honest about the hurt they have caused you.
But they will soon realize after the truth is revealed, that it would have been better to be honest in the first place, as lying adds another element of hurt for the receiving person.
BUT for some reason, men don’t learn this consequential outcome the first time, or even the second or third time.
Most men will continuously lie because of these three reasons: shame, protection, and reputation.
2. Men lie because they want to protect you
Check out what men need in a relationship. From that article, you will understand that a man desires to protect you at all costs, even from himself.
If he knows that his actions will harm you emotionally in some way, or affect your trust for him, he will most often lie.
As it’s NEVER your responsibility when your husband chooses to lie to you, understanding this may perhaps allow you to show grace and forgiveness when they ARE honest with you about something they did that hurt you. This will help them see that you won’t hate them if they do something wrong, and want to be transparent with you.
Does that make sense?
Let’s say they were honest to you about something they did. Your reaction to that could pave the way for them being transparent in the future, even though it’s still their choice to lie.
3. Men lie because they don’t want you to know that they have failed
We could go deep on the topic of why men feel like failures on a daily basis, but I’m just going to scratch the surface here.
Most men, when they walk out the door to go to work, hope to God that no one finds out what a failure they are. When you can understand this struggle of your husband, it might help you understand why he sometimes feels the need to lie.
Again, this is NOT a justification of when he lies. It’s helping you understand that the biggest reason men lie, is because they don’t want to let you down, or let you know that they failed.
By understanding your husband’s struggles, you can help him understand that even if he fails you, you will still love and admire him. This will help him be transparent — by knowing you won’t flip a switch those times he decides to be honest with you.
It helps women to understand, forgive, and have grace for their husband’s when they lie, when they understand the WHY behind it.
As a matter of fact, waist beads are very powerful ‘instrument’ on the woman. They are common among the Krobos in the Eastern Regional part of Ghana.
Some ladies choose to wear them in multiples; others wear just one.
They’re made from recycled broken bottles and rubber.
The main idea behind the wearing of waist beads was to check weight, so when the beads get tighter, you know you’re putting on, and when they’re loose, you know you’ve lost weight.
But in the olden days, women wore them in multiples so they could rattle as they walk to send signals to men. The sound of it could send signals to the male’s brain and then down to his penis to ejaculate.
When a woman is naked with the bead around her waist, it is a good sight to behold. They are worn loosely so they can rest on the V-boot, but others wear them tight on their bikini lines.
In some homes, women wear different beads to communicate to their partners.
They have a bead they wear when they’re in their period, so when the man sees, straight away, he knows she’s in ‘Red’.
A bead to show she’s horny, those are usually made like crystals, they glitter, so when the man sees, he roots.
There’s also ‘I’m not ready one’… When she wears, it means no sex! Usually, after the first round of sex, it’s believed that; if the man starts touching and ‘praying’ the beads on the woman it awakens the penis right away for a second round.
Finally, when a man is impotent or sexually weak, listen here, just insert the penis in between the lady’s skin and the bead; usually from behind, he should give himself 10 minutes, the power from the bead would enter the penis and let it stand at attention!
Ladies, don’t underestimate waist beads! Get yours, they are important!
Tips for Selecting the Right Hair Style for Your Face, Your Age…and Your Dating Desires
Dear Stare At My Hair,
While sometimes it seems like men are just staring at your chest, (and sometimes they are!) the truth is that your face is the first thing they notice, and hair is the frame on the face. Socially, your hair is a cue that tells men about who you are. Power bobs and a sleek ponytail telegraph a message to the world that you’re business-like, efficient, and that you have work to do — great for a job interview, but not for dating. Long locks tell the world that you’re a sensual woman. You care about having hair that looks and feels good. You take care of your hair because sensuality, and looking sexy is important to you. The message you’re telegraphing is that you’ll take care of him in “that way” too. Sensuality and sexiness are important to you in more areas than just hair.
Bottom line: you want your dating-self to have the kind of hair that makes him want to look at you again.
Loving it long:
Men love women’s hair, and they love it long, so I completely recommend a long hairstyle, but there are different ways to have long hair. You can have butt length hair, but you can also have shoulder length hair or below –the-shoulder length hair – all of which give you the look of having long hair.
When making a decision on what works best for your dating-self, start with the big picture by looking at your body shape first, then look at your face shape.
The hair on your head affects your entire look, so if you are petite, hair down to your butt is going to make you look like Cousin It. If you are in your 20s you may not want a blown dry, “finished” look that is more mature than your years. And if you’re (confessing to) 40, be careful that your hair doesn’t look like it belongs on a teenager and that you’re desperate to hold on to the past instead of enjoying all your assets (and hopefully his, too!) in the present. You want men to be comfortable with your hair, and that means you have to be comfortable with it too, not desperate.
Wigs come in a variety of sizes. From petite wigs to average and large wigs, The Wig Company offers cap sizes to fit every head. But, how do you know which one is the right fit for you? Easy. Follow our simple step by step guide below and learn how to measure your head for your new wig.
STEP 1: Start by pulling your hair up and away from your face and securing it with a hairband or clip. If your hair is short, try using a cloth headband to hold your hair back.
STEP 2: Using a flexible tape measure, lay the tape around the back of your head touching the base of your skull at a point where the wig will end and pull it forward just above your ears. Position the end of the tape at the mid-point of your front hairline. This will measure your head ‘circumference’.
STEP 3:Record your measurement. Once you have your head measurement, reference the number in the size chart to find the wig cap size that’s right for you.
Find your Perfect Fit
Ear to Ear
Front to Back
It’s important to consider your body frame and volume of your natural hair to ensure accuracy in size selection.
If you have a petite body frame and a full head of hair with moderate length, you are probably ‘Petite’. If you have thick, long hair, go up a size.
If you have a medium body frame and a full head of hair with moderate length, you are probably ‘Average’. If you have thick, long hair, go up a size. If you have sparse, thin, or no hair, go down a size.
If you have a larger body frame, your head circumference exceeds 22½”, and you have a full head of hair with moderate length, you are probably ‘Large’. If you have sparse, thin, or no hair, go down a size.
The Wig Company also offers a few select styles in ‘half sizes’.
Mini-petite: the circumference and depth are approximately ¼” to ½” smaller than Petite
Petite/Average: the circumference and depth are approximately ¼” to ½” larger than Petite
Average/Large: the circumference and depth are approximate ½” larger than Average
Each full-cap wig comes with adjustment features (Velcro or soft buckle sizing tabs) inside the wig cap, that can expand or contract up to 1″ in circumference, ensuring maximum comfort.
The way your wig fits your head is very important. A good, comfortable fit is necessary, especially when wearing a wig for an extended amount of time. If you are a first-time wig wearer, you may want to order two different sizes to try and keep the one that fits best. Once you discover your favourite size (located on the size label inside most wig caps), be sure to write it down so you can reference it the next time you order a wig.